April Social Emotional Goal

This morning we examined the fine art of complaining. Humans, and middle school students in particular, have become experts at complaining. Studies have shown that in an typical conversation, humans complain at a rate of 1 per minute. This causes stress hormones to be released into the body.

As a class we are eliminating complaining from our vocabulary for the month of April. We appreciate families supporting us in this effort.

Some ideas to eliminate negativity include:

1. START BY DEFINING WHAT A COMPLAINT IS

If you point out that it’s cold outside, is that a complaint? "No, that’s an observation," Blake explains. "A complaint is, ‘It’s cold outside and I hate living in this place.’" Shapiro says she defines a complaint by the way it makes her feel: "I feel myself slouching and not breathing."

2. TRACK HOW OFTEN YOU COMPLAIN AND WHAT ABOUT

Change starts with awareness. "You’re absolutely shocked," says Blake. "After two or three hours of observing, it’s in the hundreds."

3. SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM CHRONIC COMPLAINERS

If you must lend an ear, try to respond with something positive rather than joining in on the rant session. "You’ve really gotta be quite brave and confident and have the courage not to need the good opinion of another person," says Blake. "You find over a period of time those people who complain constantly start to leave you alone because their brains are not getting that stimulus they’re looking for."

4. TURN COMPLAINTS INTO SOLUTIONS

This is called "positive complaining" or "effective complaining. As Wolfe says, "Don’t sit around and admire the problem." Do something about it.

5. USE THE "BUT-POSITIVE" TECHNIQUE

This tip comes from Gordon: "If you find yourself griping, add a ‘but’ and say something positive," he says. For example, "I don’t like driving to work, but I’m thankful at least I can drive and I even have a job."

6. CHANGE "HAVE TO" TO "GET TO"

"I have to pick up the kids" becomes "I get to pick up the kids." "You change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart," Gordon says. "You’re gonna feel so much better the more you focus on the positive over time. At first, it's gonna be a little awkward, but the more you get used to it, it becomes your natural state."

~ http://www.fastcompany.com/3042951/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/what-its-like-to-go-without-complaining-for-a-month